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An Understanding of Mental Illness

The Switch

The Switch

It feels as if I am more than one person. Disconnected from myself. I often feel conjoined between other beings. As if another person inside is controlling my actions, movements, words, and mind. Sometimes present, sometimes lost, this phenomenon has been a trying, terrifying and exhausting.

I Look Completely Normal

I Look Completely Normal

But I have struggled with mental health difficulties throughout my life. My mental health has negatively impacted my ability to work, keep interpersonal relationships, and maintain a healthy lifestyle. My recovery and stability has been ebb and flow, but I am learning each day how to manage and cope with these obstacles. My goal in life is to eliminate stigmas behind mental illness and and teach healthy coping mechanisms to those who may be struggling in the same ways.

Make the Thoughts Stop

Make the Thoughts Stop

Many people have racing thoughts but when it comes to mental illness, racing thoughts can be dangerous. When we get racing, our thoughts consist of fear, worry, doubt, self-hatred, and many other damaging and destructive perceptions. It can make us feel like our head is going to explode. We lose control. We just want silence but we can't drown out the extremely negative sounds, not even with our screams.

What's the point?

What's the point?

We can’t move. Our body is slow and sluggish. Our mind has raced to the point of exhaustion. We want to cry, but we can’t. We are numb. We feel hopeless and worthless. We feel helpless, trapped in our own body. We can’t stop thinking about how much better it would be when we’re gone. We’re a burden. We are nothing. What’s the point? We’ve lost our motivation, and our will for this world. We feel lazy and our thoughts, feelings and being feels invalid.

Fear

Fear

Fear is a normal reaction to danger that even animals exhibit. But what if there was nothing to fear and yet, there still lingered feelings of terror? We've been fearful of many things in my life, most unreasonable and senseless. We've feared; rejection, failure, the dark, loud noises, crowded areas, driving, nighttime, going to sleep, going to the store, going outside, going to the bathroom, taking a bath, eating, drinking, getting out of bed, Moving, Living, existing.

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